Emoji

Being a poet sucks!
Normal people can use
those cute little internet emojis
to say ‘I’m happy’, or ‘I’m sad’;
Poets are expected
to be able to express our feelings
(often in orgasmic detail)
even when we don’t want to.

‘Poet, heal thyself!’
and, ‘You’re a poet,
Show, don’t tell’ -
those are great workshop lines,
but when what your feeling
scares and embarrasses you-
one of those cute little emoji’s
would come in really handy.

I wish I could use an emoji
instead of saying-

I saw the Facebook post
about your move-
I’m so happy for you-
I’m so sad for me.

I wish I could use an emoji
instead of saying-

I’m so glad that you have
moved forward,
I’m so glad that you have grown a little,
grown a lot,
gotten your shit together,
you fucking prick-
how could you leave me behind?
I wish I could use an emoji
instead of saying-

I wish you luck,
I wish you well,
I wish you fortune,
I wish you fame-
I wish you were still here with me
shoplifitng nip bottles of gin
from the corner packie
and getting wasted at the back
of the Walmart parking lot-
at age 52,
I’m too old
to do that shit alone.

I wish I could use an emoji
instead of saying-

I am so glad you have
found your balance,
found your muse,
found your freedom
found other people
who don’t make you
feel bad about yourself-
what makes you think
you’re so fucking special-
come back here,
I’m not ready for you to be happy.

I wish I could use an emoji
instead of saying-

I love you like a brother-
I hate you like a brother-
I never had any real brothers
there was only you and Tom and Alex-
and who knows where the fuck they are-
what’s a pseudo-family for
if not to be miserable together?

I wish I could use an emoji
instead of saying-

I am so glad you got help,
I am so glad you found your star,
found some tools,
found your way-
I am so glad you found a way
to deal with all the bullshit-

I wish I could use an emoji
instead of having to say-
You fucking prick-
how could you leave me here alone?
I don’t want to be alone-
alone scares me-
I scare me.